There is always good days and bad days. I know this. I also know that I have a pretty strong vindictive side after my kindness and vulnerability has been tested too many times. It's not always (or even usually) planned when it comes outs. But depending on my state of mind, it can be relentless if I see any traits from the person who's activities helped break that trust and safety in the relationship we had.
Despite it all, I am still usually pretty good about not redirecting to others, but over time it has made me be a bit more easily triggered and a little more aware of common traits in some personalities when they interact with me.
There are times no matter how much I try to be open and honest, it's never a good time and then when time keeps being put off it triggers often at a rough time, especially with events in the past where I was silenced and unable to provide my side of the experience and judged by the familiarity from others... I can not say this doesn't happen to me as well but I try very hard to take a deep breath and ask for their side and try to listening openly. I'm not perfect on it but I do try to improve on it.
This isn't just referring to romantic relationships. This could be any longer standing relationship from co-workers to friends, from neighbors to lovers.
Sometimes it sucks that my memories and recall is so tied to my emotions compared to logic of just recalling information and leaving the rest behind.
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